A Thanksgiving Holiday Survival Guide

A Thanksgiving Holiday Survival Guide Image Credit goes to bethchaim.org The holidays are a wonderful time of the year.   Thanksgiving in particular is a favorite of many: there is good food, family, and for most Americans, there’s football, too.   But Thanksgiving can also be overwhelming.   Seeing your family can be stressful.   We all love our relatives, but let’s be honest: My Big Fat Greek Wedding is popular for a reason, and that reason isâ€"everyone’s family is a little crazy.   Mine certainly is!   So, to ease your burden and help you get through the holidays intact, I’d like to take this opportunity to share some of my tricks and tips for getting through Thanksgiving (and the rest of the holiday season) unscathed. There’s always that aunt or uncle who asks you, “Aren’t you dating anyone yet?!”   This is always tough to answer, because let’s face it: it’s an annoying question.   If you aren’t with anyone, it just makes you feel bad.   If you are with someone, it makes you feel pressured.   And if you’re with someone that you feel you can’t tell your relatives about, that’s even more stressful.   So here’s what I do: laugh good-naturedly, and offer them something yummy to eat (or drink!).   If that doesn’t distract them, offer some information you are willing to share, and try to make it a somewhat exciting tidbit.   Share a career idea you have with them, tell them about a trip you’re planning to take, or brag about a recent honor you’ve received.   This satisfies your relative’s thirst for gossip without costing you your privacy.   And if you don’t have anything exciting going on, it’s okay to tell them about something you’re dreaming of, be it a fantasy tri p to Europe or a dream job you want to have someday.   Even if you know it’s not going to be happening any time soon, they don’t know that.   But once they’ve gotten something out of you that feels worthwhile to them, they’ll move onto another relative and you’ll be safe. There’s also that grandma or grandpa who always insists on pointing out something negative about you.   This one is a particularly hard holiday hurdle to clear.   It’s never, ever pleasant to hear something you feel insecure about said out loud.   These comments often center on weight (“you’re too thin!” or “have you gained weight?”), changes in appearance (“why would you do that to your hair?”), attire choice (“that skirt is simply too short, missy!”), or other superficial qualities.   But just because these comments aren’t necessarily a direct attack on your personal character, does not mean they hurt less or feel any less like an attack.   If you can, try to avoid being alone with these people.   Chances are those who will say these things are repeat offenders, and you’ll see them coming.   If you can’t avoid your relative, kill them with kindness.   Offer them food or ask if they’d like a refill on a drink.   Try to turn the conversation to something about them.   Get them talking about themselves and they may just forget about you!   But if these methods fail and they do say something hurtful, remember that once you accept your own imperfections, no one can use them against you.   Yes, it will probably hurt.   But practice healthy self-esteem and remind yourself that you are a great and worthwhile person, and then move on.   Don’t let negativity ruin your holiday.   As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”   Finally, there’s the issue of politics.   There is always that cousin who wants to talk about politics, religion, and other sensitive topics right in the middle of a formerly peaceful Thanksgiving dinner.   The best advice I can give you on this one is to ignore it.   Seriously, don’t engage.   You cannot change another person’s mind.   It may seem like the “right” thing to do.   It may seem like the strongest thing you can do is stand up for your beliefs.   But it takes just as much strength, if not more, to sit quietly and keep your peace.   You have to pick your battles in life.   And engaging in trench warfare over the dinner table is just not worth it.   So just sit calmly, be thankful for the gift of your education and enlightenment, and wish the other person well.   The instigator will lose interest when no one engages, leaving you to eat your pie in peace. Lastly, the most important message of this article is not about how to handle your family at Thanksgiving.   It’s to be true to yourself.   Don’t let anyone make you feel less than, belittled, or beaten down.   Decide that you love yourself enough to accept even the less than stellar parts of you, and I think you will find that the holidays will go by a lot more smoothly. After all, if you see yourself accuratelygood points and flawsit won’t hurt so much when someone asks why you aren’t dating or criticizes your appearance or even your beliefs, because you’ll know you are worth dating, that your appearance doesn’t need to be perfect or please anyone but you, and that you are secure in your beliefs and don’t need to prove yourself to anyone else.   And this in turn will leave you able to be fully present for the good moments of Thanksgiving and the coming holidays.   You’ll be able to enjoy the funny joke your cousin told, able to spend valuable time with your grandpar ents, and able to watch football and eat pie with your uncle.   With an open heart instead of a defensive one, your holidays will be a lot more meaningful and after all, isn’t that what we all crave this time of year? Happy Thanksgiving everyone, and good luck! Image Credit Link